Diary of a Dyspraxic Mother
Today, I want to pour my heart out over the challenging and unpredictable journey of motherhood as a dyspraxic. I always dreamt of becoming a mother someday, but little did I know that my struggles with dyspraxia would intensify when faced with the whirlwind of being a new parent.
When I found out I was pregnant, an overwhelming wave of emotions engulfed me. Joy, apprehension, and a glimmer of fear danced within me. However, amidst it all, I knew I had the unwavering support of my partner and family to lean on during this life-changing period. Or so I thought.
Fast forward to today, and reality has dealt me a different hand. My journey as a new mother has been fraught with unexpected challenges and a lack of support from those closest to me. As someone with dyspraxia, everyday tasks that may seem effortless to others often pose insurmountable obstacles for me.
Initially, when I opened up to my partner about my deepest fears regarding parenting with dyspraxia, he was incredibly understanding and empathetic. He reassured me that he would be my rock, my support system through thick and thin. After all, having a family is something he was very keen for us to have. However, as soon as our little bundle of joy arrived, things took an unexpected turn.
I soon realized that my partner, while well-meaning at the start, did not follow through with the support they had promised leaving me feeling cheated of the support system I was first promised. Unfortunately, this an all too common experience for new mothers who are seemingly tricked into having a child with the promise of support that actually never reaches fruition.
My family, too, had promised to be there for me every step of the way. However, as time went on, their availability dwindled, and the gap between their words and actions widened. It was a bitter pill to swallow, as I had hoped for their support and guidance during this pivotal time. Instead, I found myself feeling isolated and misunderstood.
Now, more than ever, I realize the immense importance of seeking external support and advocating for myself. I have had to summon all my courage and reach out to support groups, online communities, and professionals who understand the unique challenges faced by dyspraxic parents. These platforms have offered me solace and invaluable advice, reminding me that I am not alone in this struggle.
Embracing my dyspraxia while navigating through the uncharted territory of early motherhood has been a daily battle. Simple tasks like feeding, changing nappies, or soothing my baby can be physically and mentally exhausting for me. The overwhelming sensory stimuli often overburden my senses, aggravating my dyspraxic symptoms. From clumsiness to difficulty with fine motor skills, my condition casts a shadow on the care I can provide my child, making me question my abilities as a mother.
Nevertheless, I constantly remind myself that being a dyspraxic mother does not make me any less capable or deserving of this incredible experience.
Despite the unfulfilled promises of support, I am determined to make every effort to be the best mother I can be for my child. I am learning to embrace my strengths, adapt, and find alternative ways to navigate the challenges unique to parenting with dyspraxia.
While my journey may not be the picture-perfect image depicted on social media or the fairy-tale experience I had envisioned, I am slowly coming to accept that it's okay. Real-life motherhood is messy, and holding those accountable who encouraged a specific lifestyle but have no intent to support it is key. I think more people should be honest about their challenges, saying the truth should not put you at risk of severe judgement. The battles mums face daily is truly admirable and I'm grateful daily for the online support groups ensuring I don't feel alone in my struggle,
A Dyspraxic Mother