Ageing with Understanding

To age gracefully is a phrase we often hear, but for many adults with undiagnosed dyspraxia, particularly those diagnosed later in life, true grace finally comes from having the language to describe lifelong differences and having a solid support system in place.

I have seen the difference a support system can make, firstly during my previous role in financial services and more recently through my work with Dyspraxia Ireland. What I have learnt is that while a dyspraxia diagnosis at any age can be powerful, the significance of that diagnosis often becomes even more profound as a person ages.

Earlier in my career, I worked in audit and later transitioned to a role overseeing large cohorts of trainee accountants pursuing professional qualifications. It was a demanding environment, but what stood out to me was the importance of establishing tailored and meaningful support for associates. I became increasingly involved in supporting candidates with additional needs, ensuring they had reasonable accommodations for examinations e.g. extra time, rest breaks, scribes and assistive technology. The difference this made was intangible. Years later, I am now working directly with people affected by dyspraxia, through Dyspraxia Ireland. This work has only deepened my understanding of the condition; for example, dyspraxia is not something that affects only children, or that disappears in adulthood (a common myth). In fact, one of the most moving aspects of this role has been speaking to adults who have received a diagnosis later in life. For many of these individuals, it is a lightbulb moment, but for others, it is more subtle, a quiet recognition and understanding of who they are. There is often relief, but this can be coupled with sadness, for the many years spent feeling different. So much of life prior to an assessment can be spent masking or overcompensating.
However, with time, a formal diagnosis can often bring a sense of hope and the newfound ability to thrive in all areas of life.

Dyspraxia in adulthood is still poorly understood. Many people over 40 grew up in a time when conversations around neurodiversity were limited. This is why diagnosis in later life, while sometimes a lengthy and arduous process, is so important. Understanding the condition and consequently themselves can be transformational for adults. The impact of being able to contact someone at Dyspraxia Ireland can also be immeasurable; whether it is talking through employment goals, navigating the assessment process, or having conversations with educators. Our role at Dyspraxia Ireland is primarily to signpost and support, but also to advocate and empower.

However, I am keenly aware that not everyone has equal access to an assessment and subsequent support. I have seen a growing social mobility gap regarding diagnosis and intervention. So much depends on language and advocacy. This gap can be amplified with age. It is so important to remember, in every conversation or email that I send, that opportunity is not evenly distributed. Navigating the system can be challenging, often requiring using the correct terminology in conversations, understanding diagnostic criteria and being able to describe experiences in ways that resonate with professionals. For someone without the financial means, education, or time to research, the system can appear fraught with hurdles. That is why services like ours at Dyspraxia Ireland really matter. We cannot always fast-track diagnosis or change public policy overnight, but we can help people seek support and assist in difficult conversations. Empathy is key to our work. We can quietly advocate alongside a person and make them feel seen. In many cases, that is the first step to real, practical support.

I often think about the support available after a dyspraxia diagnosis and what makes a tangible difference in a person’s life. For some, it is securing accommodations at work. For others, it is being a more compassionate parent. For most, it is simply understanding themselves and learning to let go of the emotional weight they have carried for decades. 

Dyspraxia is a lifelong condition, but so is growth and potential for change. Whether you are a young adult finishing your educational journey, a parent seeking support for a child, or someone in later life seeking an assessment, it is never too late to ask for support. With greater knowledge of dyspraxia comes greater self-compassion. This compassion can be the foundation of ageing with clarity and, in turn, true understanding of who you are.

Author Charlotte Murphy