My life as a scientist - Written by Gillian Greenway

There I was at the age of 57, having an assessment by an educational psychologist with special expertise in specific learning difficulties. She identified that I had a learning profile showing dyspraxic characteristics. At the time, I was a Head of Department and Professor of Analytical Chemistry at the University of Hull in the East Riding of Yorkshire, so it could be considered as a bit strange to request an assessment so late in my career. 

Earlier in the year a group of staff had set up a neurodiverse support group at work and I had found this really helpful. As well as supporting each other, it meant we could work with groups in the university to get better support for staff. I was also aware of the many students who had specific learning difficulties and began to feel that I could be a useful role model to those students, but I felt  I needed to have some sort of diagnosis to be able to do that.  

I had a great career and in general really enjoyed my work but my dyspraxic characteristics have caused me many challenges over the years as well as giving me some real strengths. 

GROWING UP IN THE 1960'S IT WAS CLEAR I HAD A PROBLEM.

Growing up in the 1960s it was clear I had a problem. I was a clumsy child, with fine motor and gross motor problems such as bad handwriting, terrible at sports and practical subjects. I was also extremely quiet at primary school as it took me time to process ideas and reply to questions. 
I had no specific academic support growing up, this meant I only narrowly passed my 11 plus grammar school entrance exam. Later I failed my A level maths as calculators were not allowed and in statistics, I could not accurately add up lists of numbers under  time pressure as I had short term memory problems. This was despite the fact I could do maths at a higher level. 

I chose to study applied chemistry because although I found working in laboratories challenging, I liked the practical aspects of learning. Fortunately, I chose a sandwich course and the two six-month placements in laboratories carrying out routine analysis really helped me improve my laboratory skills. Despite several floods and spills this practical experience gave me the confidence to take on PhD studies. This was in the interdisciplinary area of analytical science where I focused on chemical measurements. When I started my PhD in the 1980s working with teams of scientists from different disciplines was unusual but this different way of working really suited my neurodiverse approach to learning.

As it took me a while to learn new things, making many mistakes along the way, I became very resilient and determined to get things done. This was a huge advantage when doing a PhD as compared to colleagues who were not used to things going wrong. As I moved through academia, laboratory work became less of a problem but there were still many challenges. I found lecturing ok especially when I did not have to write on a blackboard anymore, although I did have problems mispronouncing words. I also struggled with answering questions sometimes, especially when stressed as it would take me a while to process my thoughts.

I HAVE ALWAYS FELT THAT I HAVE A LOT TO OFFER

My working life has vastly improved with the development of new technologies. I was probably one of the first researchers to write up my PhD thesis on a word processor. This meant I could easily move text around to sort my thoughts out and also I did not have the problem of needing a typist to be able to read my writing. 

 I do not like large social gatherings and this was challenging for me when I needed to network at conferences and meetings at work. There are many more women now in science, but at the beginning of my career, I was often the only or the first woman. I much prefer one-to-one or small group interactions and like to have a specific role, and became very involved with the Royal Society of  Chemistry which really helped me progress my career. Although I finally passed my driving test after five attempts, I have never been a confident driver and had to take public transport which was very difficult as a student placement organiser. 
I have been very lucky with regards to my mental health although I do have some minor anxiety problems probably related to my dyspraxia. I have always felt that I have a lot to offer if allowed to do things my own way and have been lucky to have always had a positive attitude with strong self-esteem which was developed in childhood.